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It's natural to want to be liked. Everyone
wants to think they are a pleasing, pleasant person to be around. However, we
can't and won't please everyone all the time and we shouldn't try to. What then,
do we do with negative feedback? I
recently had the opportunity to take a 360Reach assessment, which is designed
to help me identify my branding position based on how others see me. There were
questions to establish both my perceived strengths and weaknesses. So what did
I do? Among all the really good things said, I focused on the very small percentage
of the not-so-good. Of course, don't we always? I allowed them for a moment to
take away from the positive reinforcement I had experienced. Does this sound familiar?
The "negative"
appears for a reason-to offer you an opportunity to make a choice for change.
You can take it or not. When I looked up the word "negative," it shows
up as "off-putting, unconstructive, unhelpful, depressing." Actually,
feedback or responses that "rock your boat" are actually good things.
Truly. The
positive way for me to use this seemingly critical input is to see how true it
feels to me. Then I look at what difference making or not making a change to accommodate
it would make in my values. After that, I examine what ensuing result a change
would create. Then I make a decision. To do or not to do. To change or not to
change. To ignore or to examine. Negative
feedback can be a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Examine it to see
if in fact it uncovers areas where you are being critical or judgmental of yourself.
Put it in perspective with the overall scheme of your life. See how it fits in
your goals and intentions. Make an informed choice to change or not change and
be certain the choice carries you forward and is true to who you are and what
you choose to express. Look
at negativity as seasoning in your own personal serving of cosmic soup. Too much
will ruin the flavor. Just the right amount will help you adjust in a manner that
adds to the flavor of the total dish. We
get what we focus on, so use what seems to be "negative" feedback as
an opportunity for adjustment-or not. But do look it over. Weigh it against the
highest good for all. Then make your choice. Negative
feedback is an opportunity for growth-a true gift! It's yours for the taking.
© 2006 Cara Lumen Feel
free to reprint this article if you include the following: Cara
Lumen, MA, Your Idea Optimizer helps you turn your ideas into steady profit.
As a business developer, content developer and educator, Cara helps you make money
from what you already know. You can learn more about how to put your wisdom to
work through her radio show www.blogtalkradio.com/passioantelyonpurpose
and her Passionately On Purpose emagazine at www.caralumen.com
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